Welcome to the Internet... Now calm your tits..

I'm writing this blog this morning because at points i couldn't sleep last night... so what else to do when your lying in bed bored??? You surf your phone... 
Well this particular night of no sleep takes me to instagram where I'm flipping through the pictures and reading the comments and laughing, and then i stumble across this one photo. Norman Reedus doing his laundry,  my first thought is crap a guy that can do laundry, and then i see what appears to be his underwear and think oh crap i bet there are girls making ridiculous comments... i need to read. Ok i get it by now you could be judging me, yes i read comments to the celebrity photos because lets face it some fans are batshit crazy and the fights people pick with each other over them is nuts. So as i am going through some of these comments i see something about them saying he has a girlfriend and she said all this nasty shit about his fans and such. I had no idea what was going on, first i didn't even know he had a girlfriend, and second why would she say something as ridiculous as they are saying... 
SO this brings me to my first point boys and girls.... 
1. WELCOME TO THE INTERNET. 
      Now hearing this may sound harsh but its true, don't believe everything you see on the Internet. Heck if i photo shopped (which by the way i have no talent in doing so your never going to see me doing this) the character (another side note boys and girls please remember this is a character not really him) Daryl Dixon to riding a shark through the ocean hunting Godzilla, if you believed that you should have had a V8. So what makes you think that someone could have taken her photo from her ig account and photo shopped it onto that comment??? I bet a million light bulbs are turning on right now... Also when the guy in question who's girlfriend apparently said these things says this is fake... lets all take it in now like a tall glass of milk... ITS FAKE... ok... now we got point one across 
2. WHY DOES IT MATTER
       Another couple of points that may or may not sound harsh... Lets say he does have a girlfriend (I don't know and i don't care its his privacy) WHO CARES??? Lets face some bluntness of the truth here, think to yourself right now, If Norman Reedus does have a girlfriend why do you care? Are you going to like his acting any less?? Is your opinions on his past roles going to change?? Now most of you have probably answered no... and those who did yes, ask yourself why would it change? If you like an actor and they are your "fav because you have watched him since season 1 of TWD and your his biggest fan! ahhh!!" your not... lets face it true fans understand that actors date, get married, have kids, and yet you still like what they bring to TV or Movies regardless of their personal life. 
3. STOP THE HATE!!! 
       Why do you "fans" need to comment and write you hate someone you don't know, and she is a bad person and she is just using him, and blah, blah, blah. First off you should applaud him and her for trying to keep it private, second lets face the truth you are jealous you are not her. Next thing goes out to the 12 year olds (sorry just when you refer to the young i always say 12), I get the whole celebrity crush thing i do, crap you should have seen my bedroom growing up.. haha not to get sidetracked... and i totally understand things are different then they were when i was a your age, but to write the things you do, and the comments you write, honestly makes me think that when my nieces get older i better not see some of the things you guys write. Holy crap at 12 you should not be telling men in their 40s you hate their gf because their ugly and your going to marry him and have his kids... common now, lets get real... Lastly on stopping this hate, if you cant log onto your social media, and not pick fights with people about celebrities private lives or whatever i think its time for you to unplug for a bit... 
4. Privacy 
       I don't understand why its being blown up so much that he has a girlfriend, we should be applauding him and actors like Sean Patrick Flanery who keep their lives private. They are some of my fav actors, and yet i dont care about every private aspect of their lives. We have enough with the media cramming the Kim and Kayne down our throats at every possible moment, we could use a little more classy private Hollywood types. 
5. Celebrity Crushes
      I get it i do, i am on the boat with everyone celebrity crushes!!! If you say you dont have one your lying, and if you think you are seriously going to get swept away by yours like some win a date with tad Hamilton, then my blog will never mean anything to you as you probably still have your mind thinking what it wants to think... First off huge fan of Sean Patrick Flanery, probably one of my biggest celebrity crushes i have had since i was like 16. I have now met him twice, he is one awesome guy to talk to. But then your hear oh well he has a gf or oh he has kids... either way my opinion of him and his movies has not changed, i don't even know of those things are true, but it doesn't matter. Another one is Chris Hardwick, honestly i find him hilarious and attractive, but I'm not going to go on his things and spread out hate against his girlfriend Chloe (which on a side note, i really couldn't, she is one fun hot looking chick). So i will end it on this... I get it you "Love" Norman Reedus, and you are his Biggest fan because you have watched him since season 1 of the walking dead... Don't hate on his girlfriend when you don't know her, because maybe shes one of the nicest people out there....also i dare you to name 5 movies he has been in besides boondock saints, without looking at IMDB... are you still his biggest fan?? 

P.S. All i ask if you are going to a Canadian con and Norman Reedus is going to be there and you are going to the Q&A can you not be a douche and keep asking why he wears sunglasses all the time... please...just a public service announcement to prevent you from being a douche. 

Hey Ho! Im Done!

I cant believe it!! i am now officially done nursing school!! Wahoo!! Ok... well not completely done... i still have to you know write the exam and pass all of the license stuff... but i can totally do that :D 

To all the friends who i have met along the way you have all touched me in ways you will never know. To the ones who did not make it this whole journey with me, i wish you all the best and i know you will get here soon to this point!! 2014 is your year and you will rock it!! 

To the friends who i made it through with, WAY TO GO GUYS!! congrats, you all will make amazing nurses and will rock that exam!! To my friends who are younger, remember that less is more, and keep going farther and farther with your career! To my friends who are older, i cant believe we did it!! To go back to school and learn all of this, and not only keep up but to kick ass at it! Way to go everyone!! 

I leave with this thought... 

"Too accomplish great things, you must not only act, but also dream, not only plan, but also believe" -Anatole France 

Florida

My past

Well, when your driving for hours through Georgia, through to West Virginia you sure do get alot of time to think.
Which brings me to the topic of my past...
Now everyone can say wether you want to admit it or not you have alot of things you can be ashamed of... I can't say I would change anything as I wouldn't be the person I am today... I may have had more money saved lol or not as many bridges burned but still I wouldn't be who I am now.
First lets start with my highschool friends... Well highschool was either an awesome time for people or it was the worst. Well I'm not going to lie I hated going to highschool, I had friends who helped get me through it and looking back I had friends who used me and/or verbally abused me. Now I'm not at all in the direction of feel sorry for me, actually through my ignorance of how those mean people treated me I come to be so thankful to the ones who try cared for me and had my back. Also these kind of people experiences help you weed out the shady people later in life. Yet at this point I didn't fully understand how to handle how I was being treated to how to treat others, I was (and still am) socially awkward. So now insert cadet friends, I was shy awkward when I first joined, taking on the quiet passive friend letting others use me as a doormat so that way atleast I had friends.. Then fast forward years later to my later years in cadets, I was mean I was hateful and fully admitted to being a bitch. At highschool I was being taunted for being fat and a loser and some of my friends they constantly turned their backs on me so I felt myself strongly relying on my group of friends at cadets. Yet as I grew in the ranks so did my ego and personality. I treated people like pawns and treated them with no respect getting mad at people all the time for stupid shit. I dated mostly all the guys in my group and treated them like dirt. Yet one got back at me years later, taunted my heart with hopes to crush in seconds with wanting to keep our relationship a secret as his friends and family could never understand why he would ever go back to me. Only one friend has emerged from that group of around 10 to 12 people.. And that was years later, he has always been a good friend and has always been able to call me out on my shit too! Told me when. I'm being a bitch or being weird. But at the same time completely understands me, sucks he loves to travel the world as I can't see him really but we keep in touch every so often.
It's weird looking at now how I can be such a bitch to some people and yet in group settings I'm either the weird awkward one or the weird talkative one.. The second tends to get me in more trouble while the first one makes people avoid me, which can be nice cause I'm kind of a loner in a way.
In the summer I spent alot of my time at Trenton air cadet summer training centre. It was always a good time for me I always had fun goofing off with friends and taking trips into town and riding bikes, yet one year I decided to go back after some very stupid mistakes at a summer end party the year before And decided to drink and party my summer away in a civilian instructors position. sure at first this seemed like a fun way to spend my summer and so it was in a way I had a group of friends and we called ourselves "cspam"... And we were at the officers mess all the time or at Mjs for dollar draft night partying the nights away and getting up early for work... Seemed like a fun summer but it wasn't, I made an ass out of myself that summer drinking and being such a lush that I didn't know when to stop and doing other regretful things. Some of these adventures were fun and hilarious other times I was just plain embarrassed. I had at one point some good friends from there and I think in the end I've probably made too big of an ass out of myself to ever want to show my face around those people. I have for the most part apologized but that's not the point damage is done and damage is damage.
Now throughout my early 20s I told off friends, I pushed some out and turn my back on some because I wasn't thinking straight. Sure I had good friends I made in college but the way I treated those I already had before is unforgivable. Basically what I am explaining is I have made some really stupid moves in my past like not listening to my specialist but that's for another blog, but I know I made them, there is no way to correct them but to apologize and move forward, I can only make amends with those who want to and have to learn to not make Those again. Now I can say I am in a good place friend wise, I am still awkward and shy and tend to say really weird stupid things when I'm nervous. But I'm glad for the friends I have and the ones who want to abuse me and yell at me I'm done with, cause I'm nobody's doormat as my best friend always tells me I need to stick up for myself more. I think my cycle of being the punching bag to making others my punching bag has in a way led me back to being the person who at times doesn't want to rock the boat by saying something back and other times I can without thinking say some pretty mean hurtful things.
I bet this makes absolutely no sense to most people as I tend to ramble. I'm pretty good at that haha.
What I am getting at is I'm not a perfect friend never say I have been and probably never will be. I am human and human is to error but its being able to recognize and understand where you went wrong and to apologize and learn to not make those mistakes again. I know I probably drive the friends I have now crazy especially my roomie/best friend as frig we live together! That usually means buttons get pushed, and with my coworkers/friends as we are together all the time. Now going back to college right now that's hard it's such a different dynamic and I find making friends alot harder as I find myself so awkward haha but so far so good minus the bitchy ones and surprising nursing in pretty cutthroat as some women/men can be so mean or wolves in Sheeps clothing. I tend to keep my head down to avoid conflict and focus on school.

True Love

I know, its been forever since i last posted, but here its goes

Im not one for really sappy things, but i believe in true love. Todays blog will explain that, with my cousins used as examples. 

On a note, i found out my cousin who has a terminal illness is not well, and passing away. Her husband of over 30 years has stood by her in the true sickness and or health. Since she has slowly became disabled with her illness he has been her sole care giver, helping with transfers, all meals, getting up throughout the night to reposition her. 

Now that is true love. To be there for the person you love through everything, to stand by them, and take care of them the best way you can. 

My best friends Dad loved his wife more than words can explain, and stood by her through everything until she passed away. 
Another older man i know has stood by his wife after her stroke, and helps with her care as much as he can and does so much to please her and take care of her. He has stood by her when he even said some of friends told him to put her in a home.
My Dad loves my mother so much, he has stood by her with all her mental issues, strokes, eye issues, all of it. Her brother is a piece of work, hes a handfull in his own, and people warned my dad before he married her that if you marry her you will have to deal with that brother. 

I can honestly say, where are the men from that generation now?? Men who stand by their wives??

I know it sounds rude but all these men i meet out there seem to be about wanting to get laid, and such.

So when my mother bugs me about wanting grand children and wanting me to find someone, i just get so annoyed. There is nothing i want more than to be a wife and a mother, but i am not going to make that my only goal in life, its hard when so many of the guys out there have no ambition, no drive, no gumption, i bet most would go running at the first sign things are going rough, or bad... 

So i wonder, maybe i am waiting for a man who treats a women like i have been raised to see, to have a man who stands by me through everything, who believes in me, and can stand by me even in my worst of times. That is what i am looking for.... 

Fan Girls

I remember in highschool back when I was 15 going to the comic book store with the guys was a regular thing. A bunch of guys and me, going to get our weekly comics or orders, gaze at all the things we wanted, buying action figures.. Life was good.. Watching buffy and angel every Saturday.. I'm sure the guys actually liked it even though they denied it, in exchange I had to watch the man show afterwards... And their fav part was the girls jumping on trampolines.. And every weekend we'd do a movie night, I'm sure 75-80 percent of the time it was boondocksaints ... I always joked that I didn't want to watch it or play 007 on n64 but I was really the one lying there.. Common hot guys with guns and video games!! I grew up loving to play doom!!
This brings me to my point, fan girls... Ok so I would think there is a couple of types of fan girls... The type who are like yay comics! Let me read them, and doodle drawings and read my fanfiction and leave me the fuck alone, there is the type that likes the comic books and loves the tv shows and movies, there's the type that geeks out with the tv shows and movies like loving zombie movies and shows, and lastly there's the creepy fan girl.. I can only describe this as the girl who goes out of her way to twitter creepy things to the celebrity in a show/movie.. I don't know how to best describe this last one, I can only think of the girls that say I love you to celebs like milo from heros, or I Saw on twitter someone said something weird to Norman Reedus and called him daddy... So strange and creeps me out I'm not even them and I feel embarrassed for the one that said it and creeped out for the celeb. I don't know what it is, maybe it's cause I've had stalkers in the past and creepy exes so I picture that. Like I feel awkward tagging celebs in tweets or on Instagram. Like I feel if you are you going tag or whatever it's called a celeb you should think before you send it like would my friends think wtf were you thinking...
In geeky wonderful news s bought me the walking dead board game!! I'm super stoked to play it!! I'm debating who should I be Glenn andrea or dale?!?!